I was first diagnosed with endometriosis when I was 16. As soon as I got my period at
age 13, I experienced extremely heavy bleeding and horrific cramps. After missing so many school days and having to quit playing sports, I went to a children’s hospital and was
immediately that I was referred to a doctor who helped diagnose my endometriosis. I had two back to back surgeries during high school and college. I spent most of my twenties on birth control but relatively pain free. I was able to control my endometriosis with diet and exercise. When I changed my birth control, the pain became horrific. I started missing work during my period and could not function. I would go on to have more surgeries in hopes I could be pain free again.
Fast forward a few years, my husband and I started to try to get pregnant. Coming off of
birth control made the endometriosis out of control. I wasn’t able to function when I had my period, becoming bed ridden for days. I went back on birth control to try to control it. Having yet another excision surgery, I had high hopes I would be able to feel normal and conceive a child. For a while I felt great. It was less than a year after the surgery when I started to feel awful again. Each time I would go to the doctor, I was told just have another surgery. After so many surgeriesand medications, I refused to have another one. I tried everything to fix my endo, going vegan, yoga, meditation and I was still in terrible pain.
Presently, I am still in excrutiating pain almost everyday. I had to go back on strong birth control because I was having a period every two weeks. Most days, I have trouble getting out of bed and some days I can barely walk. I have been sick so many times this year that I do not have any more sick days left. I work from home and constantly worry what I will do if I cannot work remote anymore. I am not healthy enough to go into an office.
The most discouraging thing about endo is that people don’t believe you. If you show up with makeup on and nice clothes, the response is you don’t look sick. On the outside I may look fine, but inside it feels like hot, barbed wire is stabbing my body. I have changed what I wear to accommodate having endometriosis. So often when I wear a dress, I am told, when are you having a baby or congrats on being pregnant. The worst things to hear when you have lost your fertility to endometriosis and will more than likely never conceive a child.
Now I am in a long wait for someone to help me with next steps for endometriosis. Medical care for endometriosis, consists of waiting lists, hospital bills, and trying to convince doctors that your pain is valid and real. For months, I have not been able to function without daily pain medication. Running was my number one hobby and endometriosis has taken that away.
Endometriosis is smiling on the outside but screaming as loud as you can inside. Endometriosis is having plans for a day and spending the next days in bed for doing too much. Endometriosis is constantly questioning your self worth and mental health. Endometriosis is theworst thing I have had to deal with in my life but I know it has made me stronger than I ever thought I could be.
It makes me sad to know that I will deal with this illness for the rest of my life. I wish people would understand how painful endometriosis is. Endometriosis is not just living with extreme pain, it is also depression, anxiety, high medical bills, infertility, losing relationships.